And Now for Something Completely Different

The brainiacs at Cracked.com have come up with The 15 Most Sexually Unappealing Porn Titles of all time. Pretty much SFW.

For the record, my favorite is #7.

The Psychological Gang Bang

I had no idea. Really:

We've all witnessed scenarios where, on the playground little girls are being taunted by little boys while both girls and boys stand idle, afraid to speak up or even cheering. Or, in the workplace males tease young and older female co-workers; make obscene gestures, inappropriate comments, laughing and expecting (often correctly) that everyone will join in. Then there was that movie where Jodie Foster portrayed the true story of woman who was ganged raped in a bar while others looked on and encouraged the realization. Still others pretended the rape didn't happen. In short, gang raping of women is commonplace in our culture both physically and metaphorically. (emphasis mine)

This past week, we witnessed just such a phenomenon involving men who are afraid of a powerful woman. Hillary Clinton, in her quest for her Presidential nomination, has in fact endured infantile taunting and wildly inappropriate commentary. Indeed we have witnessed almost comical attacks by John Edwards who in turn sided with Barak Obama as both snickered at Clinton's "breakdown," which consisted of a very short dewy-eyed moment. Now John Kerry, who should certainly know better after his own "swiftboating," has joined the playground gang...

Think about the legacy we'll leave behind when we support Hillary Clinton for President of the United States. Let’s put a stop to the psychological “gang banging” of women and girls. Let's stand up and be counted by way of the hard-won votes we can now cast!

Nothing like a little identity politics to get the blood pumping, is there? (h/t Protein Wisdom, Hot Air)

The Difference Between Campaigning and Voting

In keeping with my previous post, here's the Joke of the Day from Donald Luskin's site.

Down The Memory Hole

In attempting to jog Paul Krugman's memory, Tom Maguire finds this priceless nugget from 1993:

In selling his economic plan, President Clinton is gambling that voters never took seriously his campaign promise to lower the tax burden of the middle class and will respond favorably to an aggressive pitch based on equal measures of hope, fear and class revenge.

After months of polling and research, Mr. Clinton's top political advisers say they are convinced that middle-class voters will support higher taxes. The advisers say the voters will see the new taxes as the price of great improvements in Government service and as inflicting a just punishment on the rich who profited during the Reagan and Bush Administrations.
...

"Voters never believed in the middle-class tax cut, because they have never seen anyone get a tax cut," said Mr. Clinton's chief poll taker, Stanley Greenberg. "They always believed their taxes would go up whether Bill Clinton became President or George Bush was President.

And yet, George W. Bush campaigned on a promise to cut taxes for everyone - including the middle class - and actually did it. Isn't that something?

Gee. I wonder what we're being promised right now that we'll be asked to forgive and forget around this time next year?

First, They Came for Piglet...

"...and I did not speak out because I was not a Disney character and, if I was, I'm more of an Eeyore. So then they came for the Three Little Pigs, and Babe, and by the time I realized my country had turned into a 24/7 Looney Tunes it was too late, because there was no Porky Pig to stammer "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!" and bring the nightmare to an end."

In Great Britain, Orwell would be proud.

Old-School Advertising

File these under "My, how things have changed" or perhaps "What were they thinking?" (h/t Goodshit)

From the Bookshelf

Modern Manners by P.J. O'rourke. One of PJ's earlier efforts but truly hilarious. The opening paragraph sets the tone:

Manners are a way to express altruism in daily life. Either that or manners are a way to screw people over without their knowing it. Anyway, manners are what your mother always wanted you to have. Whether your mother is a noble idealist or a scheming bitch is something that must be decided by you.

Two Wishes

I have two wishes for this weekend. I hope that Fred Thompson wins the Republican primary in South Carolina and that the San Diego Chargers somehow manage to beat the New England Patriots. A tall order? You betcha.

But that's what wishes are all about.

Update: Okay, so one wish down. Fred comes in 3rd in South Carolina, behind McCain and Huckabee. Hopefully, it's enough to keep him going because if he drops out, this will truly be a "hold your nose and vote" election.

Now, about that other wish...

Update 2: Oh, well. There is no joy in mudville tonight.

Becoming Cary Grant

"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and I finally became that person. Or he became me. Or we met at some point.”

That is how Archie Leach described his transformation into Cary Grant. Here's more. Happy birthday to one of the world's finest actors.

That's Life

Enjoy life while it's happening, folks. Pretty soon, we'll all be mulch.

Has It Really Been 10 Years?

"On the evening of Saturday January 17, 1998, the internet gossip merchant Matt Drudge posted a story that opened the most sensational scandal season in the history of the American presidency. He reported that Newsweek magazine had killed a story about President Clinton’s sexual relationship with a former intern. The next day he had her name: Monica Lewinsky."

Naturally, I found this link via Drudge.

Public Lynchings

The Golf Channel has suspended Kelly Tilghman for two weeks over her comment on last weeks broadcast about "lynching" Tiger Woods:

HONOLULU (AP) — Golf Channel suspended anchor Kelly Tilghman for two weeks on Wednesday for saying last week that young players who wanted to challenge Tiger Woods should "lynch him in a back alley."

Tilghman was laughing during the exchange Friday with analyst Nick Faldo at the Mercedes-Benz Championship, and Woods' agent at IMG said he didn't think there was any ill intent.

But the comments became prevalent on news shows Wednesday, and the Rev. Al Sharpton joined the fray by demanding she be fired immediately. Golf Channel didn't know who would replace Tilghman in the booth this week at the Sony Open or next week at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic.

"There is simply no place on our network for offensive language like this," Golf Channel said in a statement.

Once again the speech control police have invaded the air-waves and Tilghman is paying the price. Never mind that she and Tiger are good friends or that Tiger himself has spoken with Kelly and considers the comment a "non-issue". The Golf Channel has termed her words "hurtful and grossly inappropriate". I won't argue the inappropriate part, but hurtful? To whom?

Obviously, not to Tiger. Al Sharpton? Who cares? Any man whose claim to fame centers on race-baiting has no right to comment. I'd say it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black but he'd probably think that was hurtful and grossly inapproriate, too. So who did these comments hurt? Kelly Tilghman, that's who.

You know, I listen to talk radio every day as I drive to and from work and I've got to tell you, I hear a lot of hurtful and grossly inappropriate comments made. Does this mean I can complain and get someone suspended? If so, I've got this list...

The truth is that in any situation where you spend a lot of time talking in front of people without a script, eventually you're going to say a few things you wish you could take back. Most of the time, thankfully, your audience doesn't notice. But when you use a buzz word - in this case, "lynch" - there are certain people, and certain groups of people, who just can't wait to be offended.

In this case, Tilghman apologized, spoke with Tiger about it, he accepted the apology and considers the matter closed. The Golf Channel should, too. Instead, they suspended her for two weeks. If you agree, tell me why.

Back

Okay, then. The three month hiatus is over. A few tweaks, an updated links list, maybe a few more changes to come but, for the moment, back to blogging.

Keeping It Real

Okay, so I'm reading the August 31 edition of EW (yes, I know, I'm a week behind) and they have a short interview with Kristen Bell about what she's been up to since Veronica Mars was canceled. Apparently, she's made a couple of movies and is about to join the cast of Heroes, which is all well and good. And then I come to this comment:

"I have the mouth of a sailor. I have to remember not to drop F-bombs when I'm ordering my lunch. Nothing is supposed to be offensive about it, it's just meant to be real." (emphasis mine)

Now, not to put words - or F-bombs - in her mouth, but what "meant to be real" actually means is "that's the way people really talk" or possibly "that's the way real people talk", which has a slight whiff of denigration to it. Like Kevin Smith, she apparently feels that "real" conversations - in which people let their hair down and say what they really think - are laced with profanity because that's, well, just the way people talk. Unless, of course, you're giving an interview to a mass-market entertainment magazine, in which case you must censor your words because even though "nothing is supposed to be offensive about it", it might just, you know, offend someone.

My first thought, when I'm privy to conversations where every other word is the F-bomb, is that the people involved are just ignorant, or if not, just being intellectually lazy. But on second thought, the real meaning is entirely different. While it may not be meant to offend - I question that - the real intent is to separate. At bottom, the indiscriminate use of language like that is a form of tribalism, an effort to establish the boundaries of the group. Simply put, keeping it real is code for if you talk like that, you're one of my crowd, my "peeps". If you don't, then you're not.

Just so you know, I'm not offended by the F-bomb, having been known on occasion to use it myself. But if coming up with new and different ways to use it in a sentence is the price of admission to the real crowd, I guess you'll just have to call me "un" real.

Owning Up

Well, it's Labor Day and we all know what that means. Yep, it's time for me to look back and see how my Summer Movie Predictions turned out. For those of you who don't recall that shimmering post, check here. Go on. Read it. As an example of deathless prose, it's unsurpassed. Really. My cat loved it.

Done? Good. So, how'd I do? All things considered, I'd say not too bad.

Here are my pics:

1. Spidey (First Out, First In)
2. Transformers
3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
4. Pirates 3
5. Shrek 3
6. Surf's Up
7. Rush Hour 3
8. Live Free or Die Hard
9. The Bourne Ultimatum
10. The Simpsons Movie

And here's how the Summer turned out: (According to the IMDb Website - last update 9/2/07)

1. Spiderman 3
2. Shrek the Third
3. Transformers
4. Pirates 3
5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
6. The Bourne Ultimatum
7. Ratatouille
8. Knocked Up
9. The Simpsons Movie
10. Live Free or Die Hard

As you can see, I picked the top movie, the top 5 movies (although not in the correct order) and 8 of the top 10. Batting .800 in anyone's book isn't too shabby. On the other hand, it could be argued that this summer was a relatively easy one to pick, given the number of sequels and the high probability of their success, so go ahead, pop my balloon. I wasn't planning on quitting my day job anytime soon, anyway.

Now, then. What have I learned from the experience? First, never, ever bet against Pixar. And second, never underestimate the power of Jessica Alba in spandex.

Update: Per LA Guy, I realize that Knocked Up should have made the list at #8 - for some reason, IMDb has KU as being released in 2006, which is why I missed it - kicking Rise of the Silver Surfer off the list. So maybe in the next sequel Jessica Alba needs to imitate that other Jessica (Biel) and show some skin. Who knows? That might just get them into the top 5.

What's In a Name?

Over at the Washington Post, Monica Hesse looks at one of the obstacles to Fred Thompson's presidential aspirations - namely, his, um, name: (h/t Best of the Web)

In the swampy soup of hopefuls for the 2008 presidential election, there is a man with a funny name. (No, not that one.)

We're thinking of the one named Fred (Thompson).

Say it out loud. Do it. Fred. Fred. In the South, Fray-ud.

Fur-red-duh.

It has the tonal quality of something being dropped on the floor, something heavy and damp-ish.

Waterlogged paper towel.

Fred.

The phonetics of the name seem integral to its image problem: On Urbandictionary.com, a "Fred" is defined as "a person who does stupid, annoying, or idiotic things" (Fred Flintstone, Fred Mertz). The best-case descriptors a Fred can hope for are terms like well-intentioned, predictable, benign (Fred Rogers).

Clearly, Ms. Hesse is going for the funny here, but as James Taranto points out, she might have chosen a different source, or has she looked up Urbandictionary.com's definition of her first name lately? You can find it here.

With that in mind, I decided to look up other potential presidential first names: Rudy, Mitt, Hillary, and, of course, Obama.

You know, by this yardstick, that Rudy guy might have some potential.

You can look up your name here.

On the Bookshelf

Now that I've had my Harry Potter fix, I'm re-reading William Goldman's Marathon Man, to be followed by its lesser known sequel, Brothers.

William Goldman was a huge influence on both my reading and writing back in the day. I saw the movie Harper when I was thirteen, No Way to Treat a Lady two years later (even though he didn't write the screenplay) and, like most people, I was blown away by Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in 1969. I saw Marathon Man the first day it opened and was treated to a copy of the book as a promotional tie-in.

From a writing standpoint, Goldman's real legacy - other than perhaps The Princess Bride - is his work on screenwriting: Adventures in The Screen Trade and Which Lie Did I Tell?. Along with Stephen King's Danse Macabre (and perhaps King's On Writing), these books offer the best guide to how a writer thinks and what goes on the creative mind.

If you're a writer or just interested in how it happens, I can't recommend them highly enough.

The Ghosts of November

Not quite the romance of the Titanic, but still: (h/t The Buzz)

DETROIT — An apple farmer and his family believe they've found a life ring from the Edmund Fitzgerald roughly 200 miles away from where the famed ship sank in Lake Superior 32 years ago.

Of course, there are questions and skeptics, and the whole thing may turn out to be a hoax, but tell me you didn't feel a chill when you saw the words Edmund Fitzgerald.

"In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call 'Gitche Gumee'.
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early"

Did you feel it?

Soundtracks

I love movie soundtracks almost as much as I love movies themselves - I am the Movie Slut, after all - and I've recently stumbled on a website that's a soundtrack lover's wet dream. It's called StreamingSoundtracks and it's exactly what the name implies: a website devoted to nothing but movie (and TV) soundtracks.

It's free to join, although you can become a VIP member for around $50 a year, and you make requests for specific cuts from a soundtrack. As I write this, for example, a cut from the soundtrack to The Last Mimzy is playing, to be followed by one from Havana, then one from Hercules (TV) and so on.

The end result is hours of interesting music that never gets boring. While I recognize many of the cuts, I frequently find myself clicking on the queue to see what movie the music is from.

Trust me, if you love movies, you'll want to listen.

Note: You can listen through Winamp or Windows Media Player but you may have to download a plug-in to do so.

Post Potter

So, the final book has been released, read in one joyous straight-through 18-hour marathon, re-read in a more leisurely fashion, lovingly tucked into the bookcase beside books 1 - 6, and now, in the aftermath, I am left with a curious combination of satisfaction, sadness and ennui. And, of course, the inevitable question:

What's next?

Although Rowling is smart enough to never say "never", I'll be very surprised if she writes another Harry Potter story. The coda she put on the series caps things nicely and as she put it in the final chapter (before the epilogue), Harry's earned a rest. Certainly, the world of magic she created is large enough for her to set other stories in it, but will she?

It's unfortunate - and, once again, inevitable - that everything she writes from now on will be compared to the HP series and will likely, at least by some, be found wanting. No matter. Harry Potter will be read by children and adults alike for generations to come. Whatever else she writes, her legacy is secure.

For the record, I loved Deathly Hallows. Having re-read the first six books before tackling book 7, it's clear how much the series had grown from her initial imaginings. Like the children she wrote about, the books became older, wiser, deeper and darker than I suspect she ever realized they would. The kids grew up and the world she created grew with them.

Taken as a whole, the Harry Potter series is an immense achievement. It has been an enormous pleasure to be among the first to read these books and the only appropriate thing to say right now is: Thank you, J.K. Rowling. I will be forever grateful to you and your creation.

And now, onward.