The Only Critic Worth Reading

Over the years, I've had trouble finding movie critics who shared my tastes and, um, sensibilities. Most critics are too high-brow for my very middle to low-brow interests and either prattle on about things I couldn't care less about or inject their own "gee, if only I were a filmmaker and not a critic" vibe into the review, making it impossible for me to know if the movie is something I want to pay money to see or not.

True, now and then some critic would break through the void, like Joe Bob Briggs, but JBB is mostly a niche critic and, as much as I like that niche, I do have the occasional urge to see a movie for reasons other than its breast count. These days, that's what Skinemax is for.

For a while, Siskel & Ebert filled the bill - mostly Siskel; his thoughts on movies were so close to mine, it was almost scary, and reviewers like Glenn Kenny of Premiere Magazine and EW's Owen Gleiberman and Lisa Schwarzbaum have been pretty reliable for me, but but the U.S. version of Premiere is now history and Kenny of late has shown advanced stages of BDS syndrome. So, what's a cost-conscious movie lover to do?

Turn to this guy, of course. Just read the opening paragraph from his review of "In the Land of Women":

In the Land of Women is the cinematic equivalent of salt peter. You could take a handful of boner pills and watch every Candy Botttoms movie you can get your hands on before walking in, and this piece of shit will shrink your dick, man or woman, faster than getting it slammed in a freezer door. I mean, the only reason I can think of for this movie to exist is to wilt dicks.

Or this insightful comment a little further in:

In the Land of Women are three main women: Meg Ryan, Kristen Stewart and Adam Brody. Brody, actually, is transgendered, looking like a man, but in his pants he has Skittles where his dick is supposed to be. The mother and daughter both hope to taste the rainbow.

Pure poetry, don't you think?

So this summer, on the rare occasion when you're looking for a movie that doesn't have the number 3 associated with it, check out The Filthy Critic first. Not only will you get a free, non-shill take on the movie, you'll also find yourself laughing out loud.