Commercials I'd Like to See

(An attractive teenage girl walks into a posh living room where a handsome, middle-aged man is opening a package.)
Girl: Dad, can I borrow your credit card?
Dad: (looks surprised) What for, honey?
Girl: (she looks down, blushing) Well, there's this website...
Dad: What website?
Girl: Let me show you.
(They sit together on the couch while she opens his laptop and types in a url. The screen switches to a website called pullyourpud.com, which features several thumbnails of teenage girls offering to display themselves on their webcams.)
Dad: (glances at his daughter and then back to the screen) What is this, honey? Why would you--(stops and looks closer at the screen)--hey, isn't that your friend, Carla?
Girl: Yup. Click on her picture for a preview, daddy.
Dad: (staring intently) But she's...naked. And she's touching herself! Do her parents know she's doing this?
Girl: They should - that's her bedroom you're looking at.
Dad: But she's --
Girl: Yeah, I know. Isn't it great? She's going to teach me to do that.
Dad: Teach you?
Girl: (looks exasperated) Of course, daddy! That's why I need your credit card. So I can set up a webcam in my room and join the site!
Dad: Join the site? Why would you think for one minute that I'd let you join a site like this?
Girl: Oh, daddy, don't be such a prude! (she minimizes the picture and points to the other thumbnails) Look! All my friends are doing it.
Dad: (staring at the young girls, many of whom he recognizes) I had no idea.
Girl: (pointing at the bottom of the screen) And here's the best part, daddy. Look at how much money they're making. (he stares at the choices: rates by the minute, by the quarter-hour, by the half-hour, etc) And all of it, daddy, I swear, goes into the college fund. After expenses.
Dad: (looks at his daughter for a moment) Wait a minute. (he opens another window on the computer and does a quick search on pullyourpud.com. He discovers that the website is owned by a company called pinceneznipples.ltd, which is traded publicly. He quickly goes to his Ameritrade account and buys 100 shares of the company. He closes the window and goes back to watching the preview of his daughter's friend) Wow.
Girl: (holding out her hand) Umm, daddy?
Dad: Oh, sorry. (he hands her the credit card) Say, honey, do you think your friend would...
Girl: (punches his shoulder) Oh, daddy. You know we're saving it for our husbands. Besides, no boys allowed. That's one of the rules. Only toys and other girls.
Dad: Other girls?
Girl: Sure. You do remember me spending the night with Carla last weekend, don't you? This weekend, I'm returning the favor. (she gets up and strolls to the door) Oh, and daddy...(she turns and waves the credit card)...we might let you watch.