I got an unexpected call this afternoon from work. It was the HR manager, asking if I can come in tomorrow - on my day off - in order to have a meeting with her, the Ops Manager, and the Area Sales Manager. My immediate boss, the selling manager of my department, is on vacation this week. I ask if it shouldn't wait until she is back and I'm told, no, it's time sensitive information about how the new company is going to handle our department and they need to meet with me and the other member of our department now.
It could be good news, of course. So why is my spider-sense tingling?
Update: Sometimes I so much hate being right, I can't tell you. Sigh. Starting over again at 52. Double sigh.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Truisms
No matter how much time you have in which to get ready to do something, like, say pack and get to the airport, you will fritter the time away doing this or that or something or something else until all of a sudden you have to rush in order to make it on time.
Always.
Always.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Memorialize This!
After tackling Pappy Boyington, the University of Washington Student Senate moves on to other memorials:
Jefferson Memorial - No way, dude! He's another Rich White Male and he owned slaves!
Washington Monument - Nope. One more RWM plus he was the Commander of the Military and he owned slaves, too. Oh, and wooden teeth? Eeewwww!
Lincoln Memorial - Okay, so he wasn't a RWM (just 2/3 of one) but he was CIC during the Civil War, which was fought - not to free the slaves - but to keep the South in the Union. Oh, and he was mental, man. Of course, he was gay, so that might actually qualify him for an erection.
FDR Memorial - Borderline. We might have to call for a vote on this one. Yes, he was another RWM and he was CIC during WWII but he did save us from the Great Depression and he had the great timing to die and leave the whole Atomic Bomb blame to that other guy.
All War Memorials - No glorifying the killing of other peoples, dude!
Exception: The Vietman Memorial - This one stays as a monument to the failure of the Military Industrial Complex and all the brave men and women who died feeding it.
Okay, then. Just two other pieces of business: It's agreed that the faces on Mt. Rushmore will be replaced by the Kennedy Brothers and Bill Clinton.
And finally, the Twin Towers will be left as a smoking hole in the ground as a testament to the evils of Capitalism and the meddling of the US Government.
All in favor, say AYE!
Jefferson Memorial - No way, dude! He's another Rich White Male and he owned slaves!
Washington Monument - Nope. One more RWM plus he was the Commander of the Military and he owned slaves, too. Oh, and wooden teeth? Eeewwww!
Lincoln Memorial - Okay, so he wasn't a RWM (just 2/3 of one) but he was CIC during the Civil War, which was fought - not to free the slaves - but to keep the South in the Union. Oh, and he was mental, man. Of course, he was gay, so that might actually qualify him for an erection.
FDR Memorial - Borderline. We might have to call for a vote on this one. Yes, he was another RWM and he was CIC during WWII but he did save us from the Great Depression and he had the great timing to die and leave the whole Atomic Bomb blame to that other guy.
All War Memorials - No glorifying the killing of other peoples, dude!
Exception: The Vietman Memorial - This one stays as a monument to the failure of the Military Industrial Complex and all the brave men and women who died feeding it.
Okay, then. Just two other pieces of business: It's agreed that the faces on Mt. Rushmore will be replaced by the Kennedy Brothers and Bill Clinton.
And finally, the Twin Towers will be left as a smoking hole in the ground as a testament to the evils of Capitalism and the meddling of the US Government.
All in favor, say AYE!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Where's the Beef?
Jane Galt on the problems facing the Democratic party.
What's the liberal Big Idea? Raise taxes? I'd say pretty much all the liberals I know are for that . . . but raising taxes, even "raising taxes on the rich", is not an ends, but a means, unless you're the kind of emotional toddler who wants to take other people's things away just because you can't have them.
Read the whole thing.
What's the liberal Big Idea? Raise taxes? I'd say pretty much all the liberals I know are for that . . . but raising taxes, even "raising taxes on the rich", is not an ends, but a means, unless you're the kind of emotional toddler who wants to take other people's things away just because you can't have them.
Read the whole thing.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Sounds of Silence
A fun game of "Show Me Yours" is making the rounds of the blogosphere at the moment. As far as I know, it started with Stephen Green (who admitted it was a variation on a game that John Scalzi originated). The game is simple: if you have an iPod, sort your song library by how many times a song has been played and then publish your top ten. Once done and published, as Stephen put it, the whole world will know your "bad taste" in music. Professor Bainbridge soon joined in, as did Scalzi himself and scores more in the comments sections. As I said, it's a fun game and it's always interesting to know what other people are listening to. I'd love to join in.
There's just one problem. I don't have an iPod (or any other mp3 player) and have no plans to get one - not soon, anyway.
Oh, it's not that I don't like music - I do. I have loads of albums from the 60's on and scores of CD's from the mid-80's on. The idea of having them all stored and organized and accessible in one handy, fits-in-the-palm-of-your-hand location is actually quite appealing. I'm sure I'll do it one day. No, the problem is that I work in retail. And if you don't work in retail - if you only experience retail from the shopping side - then even though you're exposed to the same thing I am, you probably don't notice it or perhaps you simply ignore it. Every once in awhile, it might cut through the fog of your awareness with something you recognize (or loathe) but then it's gone. In one ear and out the other.
What am I talking about? Why, the Soundtrack, of course.
Every retail store, every single mall that you enter has one, possibly even the same one. It can be difficult to tell them apart. Think of it as the Soundtrack of, well, not your life, maybe, but some mythical someone's life, set on continuous play. Some of the songs are good, some are bad and some are not worth mentioning in their awfulness. And yes, it does change, occasionally. In November and December, it becomes the Christmas Soundtrack - er, the Holiday Soundtrack, sorry - with songs carefully chosen to remind you that the true meaning of the holiday is to Spend, Spend, Spend. Other then that, there appears to be some sort of rotation in effect: in with Elton; out with Billy. You want Disco? Have some BeeGees. Want to liven things up? Throw in some Talking Heads and B-52's. And you can never - ever - have enough Cher.
I'm sure there's some deep, dark, ginormous conspiratorial plot behind it all, but it doesn't matter. Not any more. No, what matters is that the Soundtrack exists and it is omnipresent. There is no escaping it - if you work retail. So imagine a soundtrack. Any soundtrack. Pick your favorite songs from among the hundreds of thousands you've listened to in your life. Then imagine listening to that soundtrack over and over and over and over...
Is it any wonder that when I come home at night the only thing I want to listen to is silence? Beautiful, blessed silence. I'm sure that one day I will join the ranks of those who have downloaded, stored, catalogued, arranged and edited their favorite music. But for now the only tune I never get tired of is the Sounds of Silence (and no Simon and Garfunkel cracks).
There's just one problem. I don't have an iPod (or any other mp3 player) and have no plans to get one - not soon, anyway.
Oh, it's not that I don't like music - I do. I have loads of albums from the 60's on and scores of CD's from the mid-80's on. The idea of having them all stored and organized and accessible in one handy, fits-in-the-palm-of-your-hand location is actually quite appealing. I'm sure I'll do it one day. No, the problem is that I work in retail. And if you don't work in retail - if you only experience retail from the shopping side - then even though you're exposed to the same thing I am, you probably don't notice it or perhaps you simply ignore it. Every once in awhile, it might cut through the fog of your awareness with something you recognize (or loathe) but then it's gone. In one ear and out the other.
What am I talking about? Why, the Soundtrack, of course.
Every retail store, every single mall that you enter has one, possibly even the same one. It can be difficult to tell them apart. Think of it as the Soundtrack of, well, not your life, maybe, but some mythical someone's life, set on continuous play. Some of the songs are good, some are bad and some are not worth mentioning in their awfulness. And yes, it does change, occasionally. In November and December, it becomes the Christmas Soundtrack - er, the Holiday Soundtrack, sorry - with songs carefully chosen to remind you that the true meaning of the holiday is to Spend, Spend, Spend. Other then that, there appears to be some sort of rotation in effect: in with Elton; out with Billy. You want Disco? Have some BeeGees. Want to liven things up? Throw in some Talking Heads and B-52's. And you can never - ever - have enough Cher.
I'm sure there's some deep, dark, ginormous conspiratorial plot behind it all, but it doesn't matter. Not any more. No, what matters is that the Soundtrack exists and it is omnipresent. There is no escaping it - if you work retail. So imagine a soundtrack. Any soundtrack. Pick your favorite songs from among the hundreds of thousands you've listened to in your life. Then imagine listening to that soundtrack over and over and over and over...
Is it any wonder that when I come home at night the only thing I want to listen to is silence? Beautiful, blessed silence. I'm sure that one day I will join the ranks of those who have downloaded, stored, catalogued, arranged and edited their favorite music. But for now the only tune I never get tired of is the Sounds of Silence (and no Simon and Garfunkel cracks).
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Quck, Alert the Media!
From Malachy McCourt's "A Monk Swimming":
We played (rugby) against colleges, wherever we could get 'em, from Princeton to Boston to Dartmouth. One of my first games was against Harvard, and it was a rough one with a lot of dirty play and fisticuffs. Several players were ordered off the field by the ref, including one Boston boy named Kennedy, known to we lads as Ted.
Good thing he didn't try to become a Supreme Court Justice or anything.
We played (rugby) against colleges, wherever we could get 'em, from Princeton to Boston to Dartmouth. One of my first games was against Harvard, and it was a rough one with a lot of dirty play and fisticuffs. Several players were ordered off the field by the ref, including one Boston boy named Kennedy, known to we lads as Ted.
Good thing he didn't try to become a Supreme Court Justice or anything.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Of Larger Significance
I recently finished Michael Connelly’s marvelous novel, “The Narrows”, and I was struck by one passage in particular:
The article was nicely drawn with the Times’s signature method of finding larger significance to a story than the story itself…it reminded me of a time I was working a case in which a man who owned an auto garage cut the hydraulic lines on a lift and a seven-thousand-pound Cadillac came down and crushed his longtime partner beneath it. A Times reporter called me up for the details for a story and then asked if the killing was symptomatic of the tightening economy in which money woes turned partners against partners. I said, no, I thought it was symptomatic of one guy not liking his partner screwing his wife.
Connelly, whose bio lists him as a former journalist, was no doubt just having a bit of fun with his former industry here, but he also hit upon one of the biggest problems in the legacy media today: this business of finding “larger significance to a story than the story itself”.
The first problem with this is – or should be – obvious. Some stories don’t have a larger significance, or if they do, as Connelly suggests in the excerpt above, the larger significance is a lot more prosaic and down to earth than the media would like. By itself, this is not a big issue. All it does is reflect a desire – shared by most people – to make what they do seem important, or at least more important that what it really is. If you’re a reporter, which would you rather have on your resume: a simple story of murder and infidelity or a complex one on how the “tightening economy” is driving businessmen to desperate measures?
The second problem is more insidious and more important; it goes to the heart of what I believe is wrong with the news industry. Again, in the excerpt above, you’ll notice that the reporter isn’t asking whether there is a larger significance or not, he’s asking (Connelly’s character) Harry Bosch to confirm the larger significance that he – the reporter – has already decided upon. This is called “framing the narrative”. The reporter has already decided why the story is important – he just wants Bosch to confirm it.
As long as the media continues to decide what we should see and read (Cartoons, anyone?) and then deign to tell us what it means, I think more and more people will take the attitude of the President himself:
(Ken Auletta of the New Yorker), for example, can describe Bush at a barbeque for the press in August, where a reporter says to the president: is it really true you don’t read us, don’t even watch the news? Bush confirms it.
And the reporter then said: Well, how do you then know, Mr. President, what the public is thinking? And Bush, without missing a beat said: You’re making a powerful assumption, young man. You’re assuming that you represent the public. I don’t accept that. (h/t Ed Driscoll)
The article was nicely drawn with the Times’s signature method of finding larger significance to a story than the story itself…it reminded me of a time I was working a case in which a man who owned an auto garage cut the hydraulic lines on a lift and a seven-thousand-pound Cadillac came down and crushed his longtime partner beneath it. A Times reporter called me up for the details for a story and then asked if the killing was symptomatic of the tightening economy in which money woes turned partners against partners. I said, no, I thought it was symptomatic of one guy not liking his partner screwing his wife.
Connelly, whose bio lists him as a former journalist, was no doubt just having a bit of fun with his former industry here, but he also hit upon one of the biggest problems in the legacy media today: this business of finding “larger significance to a story than the story itself”.
The first problem with this is – or should be – obvious. Some stories don’t have a larger significance, or if they do, as Connelly suggests in the excerpt above, the larger significance is a lot more prosaic and down to earth than the media would like. By itself, this is not a big issue. All it does is reflect a desire – shared by most people – to make what they do seem important, or at least more important that what it really is. If you’re a reporter, which would you rather have on your resume: a simple story of murder and infidelity or a complex one on how the “tightening economy” is driving businessmen to desperate measures?
The second problem is more insidious and more important; it goes to the heart of what I believe is wrong with the news industry. Again, in the excerpt above, you’ll notice that the reporter isn’t asking whether there is a larger significance or not, he’s asking (Connelly’s character) Harry Bosch to confirm the larger significance that he – the reporter – has already decided upon. This is called “framing the narrative”. The reporter has already decided why the story is important – he just wants Bosch to confirm it.
As long as the media continues to decide what we should see and read (Cartoons, anyone?) and then deign to tell us what it means, I think more and more people will take the attitude of the President himself:
(Ken Auletta of the New Yorker), for example, can describe Bush at a barbeque for the press in August, where a reporter says to the president: is it really true you don’t read us, don’t even watch the news? Bush confirms it.
And the reporter then said: Well, how do you then know, Mr. President, what the public is thinking? And Bush, without missing a beat said: You’re making a powerful assumption, young man. You’re assuming that you represent the public. I don’t accept that. (h/t Ed Driscoll)
Line of the Week
In any group of three coworkers, at least one of them will be a sadistic loser intent on grabbing your ankle as he circles the drain.
(From Scott Adams)
(From Scott Adams)
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Population Doom
Mark Steyn continues to run the numbers on world's future population and they don't look good:
"Demography doesn't explain everything but it accounts for a good 90 per cent. The "who" is the best indicator of the what-where-when-and-why. Go on, pick a subject. Will Japan's economy return to the heady days of the 1980s when US businesses cowered in terror? Answer: No. Japan is exactly the same as it was in its heyday except for one fact: it stopped breeding and its population aged. Will China be the hyperpower of the 21st century? Answer: No. Its population will get old before it gets rich."
(h/t Stephen Green)
"Demography doesn't explain everything but it accounts for a good 90 per cent. The "who" is the best indicator of the what-where-when-and-why. Go on, pick a subject. Will Japan's economy return to the heady days of the 1980s when US businesses cowered in terror? Answer: No. Japan is exactly the same as it was in its heyday except for one fact: it stopped breeding and its population aged. Will China be the hyperpower of the 21st century? Answer: No. Its population will get old before it gets rich."
(h/t Stephen Green)
Commercials I'd Like to See
(An attractive teenage girl walks into a posh living room where a handsome, middle-aged man is opening a package.)
Girl: Dad, can I borrow your credit card?
Dad: (looks surprised) What for, honey?
Girl: (she looks down, blushing) Well, there's this website...
Dad: What website?
Girl: Let me show you.
(They sit together on the couch while she opens his laptop and types in a url. The screen switches to a website called pullyourpud.com, which features several thumbnails of teenage girls offering to display themselves on their webcams.)
Dad: (glances at his daughter and then back to the screen) What is this, honey? Why would you--(stops and looks closer at the screen)--hey, isn't that your friend, Carla?
Girl: Yup. Click on her picture for a preview, daddy.
Dad: (staring intently) But she's...naked. And she's touching herself! Do her parents know she's doing this?
Girl: They should - that's her bedroom you're looking at.
Dad: But she's --
Girl: Yeah, I know. Isn't it great? She's going to teach me to do that.
Dad: Teach you?
Girl: (looks exasperated) Of course, daddy! That's why I need your credit card. So I can set up a webcam in my room and join the site!
Dad: Join the site? Why would you think for one minute that I'd let you join a site like this?
Girl: Oh, daddy, don't be such a prude! (she minimizes the picture and points to the other thumbnails) Look! All my friends are doing it.
Dad: (staring at the young girls, many of whom he recognizes) I had no idea.
Girl: (pointing at the bottom of the screen) And here's the best part, daddy. Look at how much money they're making. (he stares at the choices: rates by the minute, by the quarter-hour, by the half-hour, etc) And all of it, daddy, I swear, goes into the college fund. After expenses.
Dad: (looks at his daughter for a moment) Wait a minute. (he opens another window on the computer and does a quick search on pullyourpud.com. He discovers that the website is owned by a company called pinceneznipples.ltd, which is traded publicly. He quickly goes to his Ameritrade account and buys 100 shares of the company. He closes the window and goes back to watching the preview of his daughter's friend) Wow.
Girl: (holding out her hand) Umm, daddy?
Dad: Oh, sorry. (he hands her the credit card) Say, honey, do you think your friend would...
Girl: (punches his shoulder) Oh, daddy. You know we're saving it for our husbands. Besides, no boys allowed. That's one of the rules. Only toys and other girls.
Dad: Other girls?
Girl: Sure. You do remember me spending the night with Carla last weekend, don't you? This weekend, I'm returning the favor. (she gets up and strolls to the door) Oh, and daddy...(she turns and waves the credit card)...we might let you watch.
Girl: Dad, can I borrow your credit card?
Dad: (looks surprised) What for, honey?
Girl: (she looks down, blushing) Well, there's this website...
Dad: What website?
Girl: Let me show you.
(They sit together on the couch while she opens his laptop and types in a url. The screen switches to a website called pullyourpud.com, which features several thumbnails of teenage girls offering to display themselves on their webcams.)
Dad: (glances at his daughter and then back to the screen) What is this, honey? Why would you--(stops and looks closer at the screen)--hey, isn't that your friend, Carla?
Girl: Yup. Click on her picture for a preview, daddy.
Dad: (staring intently) But she's...naked. And she's touching herself! Do her parents know she's doing this?
Girl: They should - that's her bedroom you're looking at.
Dad: But she's --
Girl: Yeah, I know. Isn't it great? She's going to teach me to do that.
Dad: Teach you?
Girl: (looks exasperated) Of course, daddy! That's why I need your credit card. So I can set up a webcam in my room and join the site!
Dad: Join the site? Why would you think for one minute that I'd let you join a site like this?
Girl: Oh, daddy, don't be such a prude! (she minimizes the picture and points to the other thumbnails) Look! All my friends are doing it.
Dad: (staring at the young girls, many of whom he recognizes) I had no idea.
Girl: (pointing at the bottom of the screen) And here's the best part, daddy. Look at how much money they're making. (he stares at the choices: rates by the minute, by the quarter-hour, by the half-hour, etc) And all of it, daddy, I swear, goes into the college fund. After expenses.
Dad: (looks at his daughter for a moment) Wait a minute. (he opens another window on the computer and does a quick search on pullyourpud.com. He discovers that the website is owned by a company called pinceneznipples.ltd, which is traded publicly. He quickly goes to his Ameritrade account and buys 100 shares of the company. He closes the window and goes back to watching the preview of his daughter's friend) Wow.
Girl: (holding out her hand) Umm, daddy?
Dad: Oh, sorry. (he hands her the credit card) Say, honey, do you think your friend would...
Girl: (punches his shoulder) Oh, daddy. You know we're saving it for our husbands. Besides, no boys allowed. That's one of the rules. Only toys and other girls.
Dad: Other girls?
Girl: Sure. You do remember me spending the night with Carla last weekend, don't you? This weekend, I'm returning the favor. (she gets up and strolls to the door) Oh, and daddy...(she turns and waves the credit card)...we might let you watch.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
We Want the Young Canadians
Apparently, young Canadians prefer online sex to the, um, corporeal kind. Check it out. (h/t The Pajama Guy)
I'm not sure which I disbelieve more; that 87% claimed they were sober when having sex or that only 93% admitted to masturbating.
And, just for the record, I'm kind of "pet friendly" myself.
I'm not sure which I disbelieve more; that 87% claimed they were sober when having sex or that only 93% admitted to masturbating.
And, just for the record, I'm kind of "pet friendly" myself.
The Weather Gods Are Not Mocked
50 degrees in Vermont on February 15th. 50! And this on top of one of the warmest January's in ages.
I have a really bad feeling about this.
Update: I was right. The 54 degree high in Burlington broke a record that had stood for 98 years. Now the weekend forecast calls for single-digit temps with 40-mile an hour winds on Friday. I guess this means it's not time to break out the golf clubs just yet.
I have a really bad feeling about this.
Update: I was right. The 54 degree high in Burlington broke a record that had stood for 98 years. Now the weekend forecast calls for single-digit temps with 40-mile an hour winds on Friday. I guess this means it's not time to break out the golf clubs just yet.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Back to Basics
Stephen Green takes us back to Econ 101:
"Let's pretend that I run two businesses. Widgets Inc enjoys sales of a million dollars per year, with net profits of a half million. At the same time, Doohickey Corporation has earnings of a billion dollars, with net profits of 20 million dollars per annum. Now let's say that you have a million dollars, and you want to start a new business to compete with me. Would you rather make widgets or doohickeys?
If you answered "Doohickeys," then you're an ignoramus, or you might be Jimmy Carter."
As always, read the whole thing.
"Let's pretend that I run two businesses. Widgets Inc enjoys sales of a million dollars per year, with net profits of a half million. At the same time, Doohickey Corporation has earnings of a billion dollars, with net profits of 20 million dollars per annum. Now let's say that you have a million dollars, and you want to start a new business to compete with me. Would you rather make widgets or doohickeys?
If you answered "Doohickeys," then you're an ignoramus, or you might be Jimmy Carter."
As always, read the whole thing.
Some Thoughts on Love for Valentine's Day
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop ~ H. L. Mencken
Just another four-letter word ~ Tennessee Williams
Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love ~ Mel Brooks
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise ~ Samuel Johnson
The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations ~ Oscar Wilde
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ~ Lily Tomlin
One is very crazy when in love ~ Freud
Well I should know by now
That it's just a spasm
Like a Sunday in T.J.
That it's cheap but it's not free
That I'm not what I used to be
And that love's not a game for three ~ Becker and Fagen
And, finally:
Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled ~ Harlan Ellison
Just another four-letter word ~ Tennessee Williams
Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love ~ Mel Brooks
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise ~ Samuel Johnson
The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations ~ Oscar Wilde
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ~ Lily Tomlin
One is very crazy when in love ~ Freud
Well I should know by now
That it's just a spasm
Like a Sunday in T.J.
That it's cheap but it's not free
That I'm not what I used to be
And that love's not a game for three ~ Becker and Fagen
And, finally:
Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled ~ Harlan Ellison
Monday, February 13, 2006
Takeover Tango, Pt 1
The company that I've worked at for the last five years was recently taken over by another company. The companies, both retail giants, are in the process of becoming one, mega-retail chain with over 700 stores nationally. I wouldn't want to be specific or anything - you never know who may read a blog - so I'll just combine the names and call the new store "Filacy's". The transition began the end of January and will continue through September, when the conquering chain will put their name on the building. Between now and then, well, that remains to be seen.
For the moment, my job and department appear to be safe and the hope is that things will be better under the new management. My gut feeling is that all we've done is trade one giant corporate culture for another - and it remains to be seen whether it's an improvement.
I'll keep you posted.
For the moment, my job and department appear to be safe and the hope is that things will be better under the new management. My gut feeling is that all we've done is trade one giant corporate culture for another - and it remains to be seen whether it's an improvement.
I'll keep you posted.
Line of the week
This comes from Dalton Ross at Entertainment Weekly in his description of Bambi II on DVD:
"A down of his luck Thumper changes his name to Humper. Things pretty much go south from there."
To which I will only add with a devout fervor: May the new regime at Disney never make another animated flick with the number "II" in the title.
"A down of his luck Thumper changes his name to Humper. Things pretty much go south from there."
To which I will only add with a devout fervor: May the new regime at Disney never make another animated flick with the number "II" in the title.
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