I caught a few minutes of the Dennis Miller show on the radio this morning - completely by accident, I'm not usually driving at that hour and I don't listen to talk radio anymore - and what struck me wasn't the commentary on his show but rather the way he read commercials.
Now, I like Miller; I think he's a funny guy and I also give him props for being that rarest of commodities: a hollywood conservative. And I know that when you have a radio call-in show like his, reading commercial copy is by and large part and parcel of the gig. In fact, advertisers probably pay a few bucks more if Miller reads the copy, thinking that the celebrity quotient might help them sell some more product.
But this is Dennis Miller, gang. Listening to him read ads is like listening to Robin Williams recite Shakespeare: you keep waiting for the punchline. It doesn't matter whether he's telling you to invest in gold, listen to Bose headphones or letting you in on the secret of how he's now a morning person because of his new mattress, it all comes across as pure, unadulterated bullshit. And it's not just because the copy is exactly the same as when Rush Limbaugh reads it.
I'd love to meet just one person who bought anything because Dennis Miller recommended it.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Quote of the Day
Scott Adams on capitalism:
I think a reasonable person can dislike capitalism and wish for a more socialist world where art is free for all takers. But a reasonable person can’t expect that a socialist world would produce nearly as much art. That’s bat shit thinking.
I think a reasonable person can dislike capitalism and wish for a more socialist world where art is free for all takers. But a reasonable person can’t expect that a socialist world would produce nearly as much art. That’s bat shit thinking.
Can't You See Our Love Will Grow?
So I came across this site the other day while perusing del.icio.us and it made me wonder - does the amount of nookie you get depend on how much you wear to bed?
In Vermont during the winter sleepwear is not - no matter how many blankets you use - optional. Unless, of course, your significant other likes the idea of being probed by an icicle. But I thought I'd pose the question to those of you (the few, the proud, the delirious) who actually stumble across this site occasionally:
Does less sleepwear = more nookie or does it matter at all?
In Vermont during the winter sleepwear is not - no matter how many blankets you use - optional. Unless, of course, your significant other likes the idea of being probed by an icicle. But I thought I'd pose the question to those of you (the few, the proud, the delirious) who actually stumble across this site occasionally:
Does less sleepwear = more nookie or does it matter at all?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
This Just In
I just wanted to thank Ben & Jerry's for changing their hours on "free cone" day. After paying my taxes and discovering that I had to work during their annual freebie, I decided to hit the bar instead.
And you know, after 3 or 4 scotches, I discovered that I really didn't need that free scoop of Coffee Buzz!Buzz!Buzz! anyway.
And you know, after 3 or 4 scotches, I discovered that I really didn't need that free scoop of Coffee Buzz!Buzz!Buzz! anyway.
Eye-Catching
I don't watch American Idol, so I have no idea if this young lady can sing or not, but she sure is easy on the eyes.
Life and Liberty
The Virginia Tech shootings are all over the news right now. I'm not going to link anything because the news is everywhere you look. And, other than offering prayers and condolences, there's not much to say at the moment.
Except...
My gut feeling is that the only way this could have been prevented - or at least mitigated - is if at least one of the students or teachers in the general vicinity had been armed themselves. I could be wrong, of course. As details emerge, we'll get a fuller picture of what happened. Still, I can't shake the feeling.
When I mentioned this to my wife last night - she works at the local high school - it led to a rather heated argument. The idea of guns at a school, even a college, is anathema to her and I understand the way she feels. Vermont is a right-to-carry state (one of the few things the state gets consistently right, imho) but schools are typically an exception to that law. The only people authorized to carry firearms at any school, to my knowledge, are law enforcement officers. Which makes sense.
Except...
When things like this happen, by the time the campus security or police find out about it, it puts them on the outside while the gunman (or gunmen) are on the already on the inside with a room or building full of defenseless people. For example, when a jilted boyfriend stalked the Essex Elementary school earlier this year, no one was able to prevent him from killing an innocent teacher he didn't even know. The police caught him, of course. Afterwards. But if one of the teachers or administration personnel at the school had been armed, might that teacher still be alive?
It's a thorny question and one that I know flies in the face of conventional wisdom, which dictates that the way to stop these killings is to place more and tighter controls on guns. But I don't believe our gun laws work and I don't think there's a way to prevent just about anyone from getting a gun if he wants one bad enough. I don't think more stringent gun laws will change that. There will always be bad people with access to guns - and occasionally worse things than guns.
The only answer that makes sense to me is vigilance. Vigilance, and giving law-abiding people the right and ability to protect themselves. By way of Instapundit, I'm directed to this post from Roger Kimball, which sums up my feelings better than I've just done.
Update: A Virginia Tech student argues for the right of self-defense.
Except...
My gut feeling is that the only way this could have been prevented - or at least mitigated - is if at least one of the students or teachers in the general vicinity had been armed themselves. I could be wrong, of course. As details emerge, we'll get a fuller picture of what happened. Still, I can't shake the feeling.
When I mentioned this to my wife last night - she works at the local high school - it led to a rather heated argument. The idea of guns at a school, even a college, is anathema to her and I understand the way she feels. Vermont is a right-to-carry state (one of the few things the state gets consistently right, imho) but schools are typically an exception to that law. The only people authorized to carry firearms at any school, to my knowledge, are law enforcement officers. Which makes sense.
Except...
When things like this happen, by the time the campus security or police find out about it, it puts them on the outside while the gunman (or gunmen) are on the already on the inside with a room or building full of defenseless people. For example, when a jilted boyfriend stalked the Essex Elementary school earlier this year, no one was able to prevent him from killing an innocent teacher he didn't even know. The police caught him, of course. Afterwards. But if one of the teachers or administration personnel at the school had been armed, might that teacher still be alive?
It's a thorny question and one that I know flies in the face of conventional wisdom, which dictates that the way to stop these killings is to place more and tighter controls on guns. But I don't believe our gun laws work and I don't think there's a way to prevent just about anyone from getting a gun if he wants one bad enough. I don't think more stringent gun laws will change that. There will always be bad people with access to guns - and occasionally worse things than guns.
The only answer that makes sense to me is vigilance. Vigilance, and giving law-abiding people the right and ability to protect themselves. By way of Instapundit, I'm directed to this post from Roger Kimball, which sums up my feelings better than I've just done.
Update: A Virginia Tech student argues for the right of self-defense.
Monday, April 16, 2007
My Old School
Over at Instapunk, a pertinent question regarding the Duke Lacrosse players erroneously accused of rape:
Why do we ask our children to excel in school, to get A's, to score well on their SATs, to earn Varsity letters and participate in all the extracurriculuar activities it takes to be admitted to Duke or UNC or UVa or the Ivy league when all we're going to do when they get there is call them PRIVILEGED and penalize them to the max if they ever come into conflict with the BETTER people who drop out of school or wind up in prison?
Why do we ask our children to excel in school, to get A's, to score well on their SATs, to earn Varsity letters and participate in all the extracurriculuar activities it takes to be admitted to Duke or UNC or UVa or the Ivy league when all we're going to do when they get there is call them PRIVILEGED and penalize them to the max if they ever come into conflict with the BETTER people who drop out of school or wind up in prison?
Goodbye to Lonely Street
Jane Galt offers us the ethics question of the day:
You are a worker in a hospital. An unidentified patient dies on your ward. In his pocket are two tickets for a sold-out concert for two hours hence. You are pretty sure he isn't going to be identified in time to use the tickets. Would you take them? And if not, why not?
Speaking for me personally, 99.9% of the time, I wouldn't take them. If, however, the tickets were to the Steely Dan Heavy Rollers Tour 2007, well, since the dude had such good taste, it would be a shame to let them go to waste.
Right?
You are a worker in a hospital. An unidentified patient dies on your ward. In his pocket are two tickets for a sold-out concert for two hours hence. You are pretty sure he isn't going to be identified in time to use the tickets. Would you take them? And if not, why not?
Speaking for me personally, 99.9% of the time, I wouldn't take them. If, however, the tickets were to the Steely Dan Heavy Rollers Tour 2007, well, since the dude had such good taste, it would be a shame to let them go to waste.
Right?
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friggatriskaidekaphobia
Lileks on bad luck:
Gnat explained to me today that if she did poorly on the spelling test, it might be the fault of Friday the Thirteenth. All the kids are abuzz about it, because it’s Bad Luck.
There’s no such thing as bad luck, I said.
Uh huh there is.
No. There’s no such thing. If something doesn’t work out, or something bad happens, it’s not because of bad luck. It’s because of something real. Luck is an excuse.
Well Faith said –
I don’t care. Do you really think tomorrow is bad luck?
Maybe.
Then we’d better not go to the pizza store, because the ceiling could fall! Or they could put snail feet in the sauce!
Dad.
And we’d better not get on the bus, because it could be attacked by buzzards. That would be bad luck.
Dad.
And we’d better not study for the spelling test, because we might poke our eye out with a pencil. Bad luck!
DAD.
Well, you see what I mean.
Yeah.
So what do I mean?
There’s no such thing as luck, she said, disappointed.
That’s right. Because it’s up to you. You make your own luck. I know it’s hard to give up thinking about good luck, but that means you don’t have to worry about bad luck.
She brightened. This was good news.
So let’s study the spelling words!
And that was the bad news, I guess.
Gnat explained to me today that if she did poorly on the spelling test, it might be the fault of Friday the Thirteenth. All the kids are abuzz about it, because it’s Bad Luck.
There’s no such thing as bad luck, I said.
Uh huh there is.
No. There’s no such thing. If something doesn’t work out, or something bad happens, it’s not because of bad luck. It’s because of something real. Luck is an excuse.
Well Faith said –
I don’t care. Do you really think tomorrow is bad luck?
Maybe.
Then we’d better not go to the pizza store, because the ceiling could fall! Or they could put snail feet in the sauce!
Dad.
And we’d better not get on the bus, because it could be attacked by buzzards. That would be bad luck.
Dad.
And we’d better not study for the spelling test, because we might poke our eye out with a pencil. Bad luck!
DAD.
Well, you see what I mean.
Yeah.
So what do I mean?
There’s no such thing as luck, she said, disappointed.
That’s right. Because it’s up to you. You make your own luck. I know it’s hard to give up thinking about good luck, but that means you don’t have to worry about bad luck.
She brightened. This was good news.
So let’s study the spelling words!
And that was the bad news, I guess.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Hot Licks and Rhetoric
So let me get this straight: If I assault you because of your race, creed, gender or sexual orientation, it's somehow worse than if I assault you just for kicks?
Noun Good; Adjective Bad
Apparently, certain nouns are okay to use, as long as you don't precede them with certain adjectives.
I'm not sure I understand that logic.
Update: I'm not sure I want to buy one of these, either.
I'm not sure I understand that logic.
Update: I'm not sure I want to buy one of these, either.
Everyone's Gone to the Movies
Watched Near Dark this afternoon for the first time. It's not bad. Pretty stylish but not what I would call scary. Most of it follows traditional vampire lore - except for the part about blood transfusions making you human again. And Adrian Pasdar's becoming a vampire about thirty seconds after being bitten. I guess they wanted to make sure the movie didn't run too long.
It was also fun to see this guy get kicked around in a bar, something he sort of built a career on.
Best bit of dialog:
Caleb: How old are you?
Jess: (with a wry smile) I fought for the south.
Caleb: The south?
Jess: We lost.
It was also fun to see this guy get kicked around in a bar, something he sort of built a career on.
Best bit of dialog:
Caleb: How old are you?
Jess: (with a wry smile) I fought for the south.
Caleb: The south?
Jess: We lost.
Who is that Gaucho Amigo?
This is too funny. (h/t Instapundit) I'd never heard of Subarus referred to as "Lesbarus". I guess I move in the wrong circles.
Actually, the part that got me was at the bottom:
On Gaywheels.com, one indicator of actual gay buying trends is the list of vehicles most frequently researched. As of last October, the Toyota Yaris, a $12,000 economy car, led that list, followed by the Toyota Camry, which was the No. 3-selling car in America last year.
I'm so confused.
Actually, the part that got me was at the bottom:
On Gaywheels.com, one indicator of actual gay buying trends is the list of vehicles most frequently researched. As of last October, the Toyota Yaris, a $12,000 economy car, led that list, followed by the Toyota Camry, which was the No. 3-selling car in America last year.
It would be hard to find a more conventional automobile.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit I've owned two Camry's. Does that make me gay or just conventional? Maybe conventionally gay? Or is that what we call "bi" nowadays?I'm so confused.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Based on the findings, the researchers said reporters should be aware that their own views of religion could influence how they write their stories and readers should take note of their reporters' biases.
I'll bet.
I'll bet.
Everyone's Wild About Harry
Okay, so there's nothing really new in the EW article about the 5th movie. Still, it's interesting to note that with Spidey, Shrek and Pirates all doing their third thing (take that for alliteration, Kate!) next month, it's HP that gets the early ink.I know, I know. Those other movies will be all over the magazine (and everywhere else) the next few weeks.
But with the 5th movie and the 7th book coming out within 8 days of one another in July, it looks like - this year, at least - HP's biggest competition will be...HP.
Notebook
Duane blinked and adjusted his glasses as he entered, feeling the grief and sense of loss strike him anew. He realized that it was the scent of Uncle art's pipe tobacco in the still, trapped air. In that second Duane realized how temporary life was, how fleeting any person's presence was: a few books, the scent of tobacco that a person would never enjoy again, a few clothes that would be used by others, the inevitable snapshots, legal papers, and correspondence that would mean so much less to someone else. A human being on this world, Duane realized with a shock of recognition approaching vertigo, made no more permanent impression than does a hand thrust in water. Remove the hand, and water rushes in to fill the void as if nothing had ever been there.
Dan Simmons - Summer of Night
Dan Simmons - Summer of Night
Monday, April 09, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The Collective Ignorance of Individual Wisdom
Kathy Sierra has posted for the first time since receiving death threats. She says that she probably won't post again for quite awhile, until she figures out just how - and if - she wants to continue.
She also leaves us with some of the illustrations she used to advance her arguments in favor of teaching users to kick ass with the products we sell them. As I've mentioned, reading her blog was always a great pleasure and I got a kick out of her visual aids. I particulary like this one:
To me, it perfectly sums up the current consensus on global climate change.
She also leaves us with some of the illustrations she used to advance her arguments in favor of teaching users to kick ass with the products we sell them. As I've mentioned, reading her blog was always a great pleasure and I got a kick out of her visual aids. I particulary like this one:
To me, it perfectly sums up the current consensus on global climate change.
Spring? What Spring?
Tom Maguire nails it:
...personally, I am loving the switch to Daylight Saving Time, since it means an extra hour to shovel snow in the evening.
...personally, I am loving the switch to Daylight Saving Time, since it means an extra hour to shovel snow in the evening.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Good Friday
So it's Good Friday night and, by rare chance, I have the house to myself. That is if you don't count the two female cats and the former male bunny that are already jostling for attention. I don't mind, really.
In a little while, the bunny and I will start on the jello shots and watch a replay of the Masters second round (the bunny is a big Tiger Woods fan). The girls bide their time - they're not into golf - and soon Mr. Bun starts to get maudlin, waxing nostalgic for his lost bunnyhood. "They didn't leave anything! Not even two little tufts of fur." The girls don't help, of course, dancing around going "You can't hump me! You can't hump me!" He tries to chase them but his heart's not in it.
Then it's movie time. I thought seriously about trying to smuggle them all into a late showing of "Grindhouse" but I decided it would be better to stay home and watch "Slither" instead. While the bunny snores on the couch, the girls each do their best kitty lap dance to see who gets the prime seat.
Which, actually, is more action than I usually get so maybe it really is Good Friday.
Happy Easter.
In a little while, the bunny and I will start on the jello shots and watch a replay of the Masters second round (the bunny is a big Tiger Woods fan). The girls bide their time - they're not into golf - and soon Mr. Bun starts to get maudlin, waxing nostalgic for his lost bunnyhood. "They didn't leave anything! Not even two little tufts of fur." The girls don't help, of course, dancing around going "You can't hump me! You can't hump me!" He tries to chase them but his heart's not in it.
Then it's movie time. I thought seriously about trying to smuggle them all into a late showing of "Grindhouse" but I decided it would be better to stay home and watch "Slither" instead. While the bunny snores on the couch, the girls each do their best kitty lap dance to see who gets the prime seat.
Which, actually, is more action than I usually get so maybe it really is Good Friday.
Happy Easter.
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